After 4+ years of physical and mental decline, our dad passed away in his sleep on Wednesday, May 26, 2021. He was 83 years old. His relationship with his immediate family was sometimes complicated and painful, and we deeply mourn his absence in our lives.
Edward (Ed/Eddie) Marshall lived in San Leandro, CA his entire life. All of his grandparents (Machado/Reposa and Ferreira-Barreto/Freitas) were Portuguese immigrants. His parents endured and encouraged his love of animals, especially birds (his dad built him a backyard aviary), reptiles, amphibians and fish. At grandmas’ house, I often requested a lecture/tour of his specimens: some preserved in formaldehyde, some pinned, and some delicate skeletons. He was a passionate reader and had an extensive collection of antique books. After graduating from San Leandro High, he studied at Oakland City College for many years; he met his future wife in the OCC Library. He often recounted an epic road trip made in his 1958-1/2 Mercedes to the Yucatan Peninsula with his best friend Jim Kinkella. His varied employment history includes working at an exotic pet store, as a Coast Guard medic (stationed in AK), a night watchman at Montgomery Wards, a Finger Print Technician and Security Guard for the Alameda County Sherriff’s Department, and from 1972-1997 an Inspector for the Department of Consumer Affairs for the State of California.
I am his first born child, and I will always be Daddy’s little girl. He generously and enthusiastically taught me everything he knew, especially his passion for animals, nature, and science. Before I was five, I had a complete set of Golden Guides for reptiles, amphibians, birds, and mammals: I could recite the genus and species names of the birds in our yard. He treated my questions with respect, patiently answering each and every “but, why?” We did home science experiments, using the scientific method to observe the earth, sky, and air. The salamander he bought me when I was 10 is still alive today! When I moved to Michigan in 1996, I called him, frantic that a bat was swooping up and down the main staircase of the house I was housesitting. He expressed wonder that I had “the only flying mammal” right in my house – he suggested that we turn on all the lights and open the door so the bat would intuitively fly toward the dark, which it did, passing swarms of bugs migrating in the opposite direction. I’m sure he would have used that as another opportunity to observe nature.
Despite his Portuguese Catholic early life, our dad was confident and settled in his devout atheism; he fully accepted his place in the circle of life as “worm food.” I entered kindergarten knowing that I had no obligation to recite the pledge of allegiance because church and state were separate. He was a past member of the Freedom From Religion Foundation, the Sierra Club, and often voted Green Party. He owned three guns and often wore a holster; I regret never agreeing to go with him to the shooting range.
Dad derived great joy from food, whether simple or gourmet, and strongly believed that most meals could be improved by putting a fried egg on top. He ate his meat rare and made the best steaks and burgers I’ve ever eaten (onion/garlic salt, Worcestershire, topped with grilled onions and mushrooms). Likely in response to his childhood, he never took a drink of alcohol or smoked a cigarette; likely in response to mine, I was a vegetarian for 20 years.
Though he rarely expressed it, he was extremely proud of his three children, Lizzie, Robert, and Brian. He kept our drawings in his work suitcase and brought us trinkets and tiny plastic containers of jelly from his travels. He sang all the time (the Bat Masterson theme song was my lullaby), and would play games with us and make silly faces on cue. He was sarcastic, quick witted and loved clever banter. Though we know he has eagerly joined the molecules of the universe, our hearts are heavy with the loss of his spirit in our lives. May we hold loving thoughts of him for as long as we exist on this planet.
I’ve been reading Liner Notes for the Revolution – the Intellectual Life of Black Feminist Sound by Daphne A Brooks. Doing a side-dive, I came across these interviews. Very insightful snapshot into the racist history of popular music.
I know many flutists whose passion is playing second flute; I have never been one of those flutists. While piecing together a freelance living solely from music, many of us make concessions along our career path. This post is about some practical steps you can take to protect yourself and your passion while playing non-dream gigs. (I wrote this in 2019.)
Do not harm the product. The job of a second flutist is to be invisible. If you do your job very well, you will barely be noticed. You must learn to function stealthily, ninja-like – to match color, pitch, rhythm and be a carbon copy of the principal flutist. Your challenge is to find your way among a forest of imperfect choices: Do you tune to your section leader or to others who are playing the same note of the chord? When there is a discrepancy, do you time your attacks with your principal or the wind section? If you are given a cue by your section leader, but it doesn’t match the conductor’s gesture, who do you choose and why? How much dynamic support is helpful verses overpowering?
Do not harm your playing. Especially if you happen to be an empathic soul, you may find that the above choices play upon your chameleon nature; fight against the urge to focus on musical-caretaking. Even though your part may not always be technically difficult or exposed, it is essential to warm-up and practice carefully: maintain personal integrity in your sound, verify the pitch center and chord functions of your notes, and rehearse the timing of your attacks at all dynamic levels. Strive to always make beautiful sounds that you are proud of. It may sometimes feel as if no matter which choice you make, you will choose incorrectly – forgive yourself for each and every one of these moments. Second players are at the whim of many factors which are completely beyond their control. Stay present, stay grounded, and work to listen more intently.
Do not harm your spine. Relax your body and your mind will follow (…to reverse the LA Story quote). It is easy to minimize yourself physically in service of the more exposed and dominant roles happening on either side of you. Maintain a flexible and balanced spine, and own the physical space you require. Breathe deeply and calmly, especially in moments when chaos or stress literally surrounds you. Stay mobile and active in your non-orchestra time, giving your spine a chance to re-symmetrize. I recommend yoga, meditation, and plenty of time outdoors, preferably with a dog.
Do not harm your hearing. It is essental to use hearing protection. After many years of ignoring this, in 2007 I was diagnosed with a “sloping to moderately-severe hearing loss to 8 kHz in both ears.” Part of why I avoided earplugs is that I didn’t want to upset or offend anyone – if you feel similarly I suggest that you get the #$%@ over it. I have protected myself from further damage by always wearing professional custom made earplugs (sometimes offered free through the MusicCares program). They cost between $100-200 and come with changeable filters of different decibel blocks which do not distort the pitch. I usually wear a stronger filter on the left than the right to protect against brass and from the flute on my left (one curved stage platform I play on positions the principal’s flute directly behind my left ear). With practice, you will be able to manipulate pitch and dynamics just as well if not better than you ever did. I also use a technique of “popping” the right plug open without completely removing it, which I use during conspicuously exposed sections. This allows me to discreetly plug and unplug as needed. An added benefit of wearing earplugs is that I am able to be more internally focused on the tactile sensations of producing sound.
Do not harm your passion. You are part of the musical fabric, a beautifully metaphorical way to participate in a group. Spend time deciphering and analyzing the forms and orchestration chosen by each composer, and embrace your role and function within the larger texture. The orchestral hierarchy can provide insight if you remove false ego from the equation: you as a person are not invisible, you are simply performing a temporary function. Find other outlets to nurture your creativity, focusing on the positive aspects of orchestral experience. Above all else, nurture yourself so that you can maintain your personal integrity in all aspects, physically, mentally, and spiritually.
[Primum non nocere (Classical Latin: [ˈpriːmʊ̃n noːn nɔˈkeːrɛ]) is a Latin phrase that means “first, to do no harm.” The phrase is sometimes recorded as primum nil nocere.[1]]
